X-Files (rev.25..e2q..sec123 pgh 34)

I'm Dying

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I hacked into the FBI mainframe this morning.

(But first a quick observation: Don’t put your glasses on right after you clean the lenses with one of those lens wipes. It makes your eyes burn and tear up)

Anyways…as I was saying

I hacked into the FBI mainframe this morning while I was trying to figure out where in the hell I am. I knew I was in California, but couldn’t remember which town. My Hypochondriatic Paranoia kicked in and I recognized that the Destinational Alzheimers was back. It took about 3 minutes before I remembered that I have a GPS. It said that I was still in Chandler, Arizona. Now, I can’t find the receipt for the piece of shit.

After I hacked into the FBI system (the password is Hunky Doory by the way), I went to the super top secret Wikipedia entries.

This is some of…

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