~ Peace & Love ~

Who are you to judge the life I live ...
Who are you to judge the life I live … (Photo credit: symphony of love)

I am sharing this event today as it further illustrates how messed we are as a general society.

In Wal-Mart today, doing my shopping.  In my scooter I come into an aisle wherein there is a young Black man, jeans down around his bum, looking at the chips.  I try very hard not to judge people so it wasn’t even an option to be rude to this young man, there was no need.  His basket was in the middle of the aisle; I said, “excuse me”, and he politely moved it to the side.  A bonus for me was his words to me upon looking down at me in the scooter:  he said, “Oh sorry there, beautiful.”  I know I didn’t look beautiful, but just someone saying it was nice.  He moved his cart, I was able to get to the items I needed, and we went back to shopping and our worlds.

A woman comes down the aisle, behind me, and starts pushing his cart out of her way with real aggression.  I was taken aback, but stayed out of her way.  She then went on to rip into the young man.  She sounded German, but I can’t be sure.  She told him how HE was rude because he parked too close to my cart.  He tried to say, nicely, if she would have just said excuse me or the like, he would have moved his cart.  She could not be consoled by his words, so she continued in her scolding.  Finally, the young man was getting a bit upset, since she either could have simply shut up by now, or left the aisle.  She just wouldn’t let it go, and he was not egging her on.  She then turned her cart around to go back through between he and I, and she continued to say how he was rude.  I am not sure if she wanted me to join her on this or not, but she kept on.  Then she had the audacity to say that he is what is wrong in America now.  At this, I was floored.  She left the aisle without he or I punching her out, or, imagine this, he didn’t pull a gun on her.  I know she is probably amazed she came out of this conflict (of her own making) unscathed as the Black men in this country run rampant with gangs and guns.

So, here is what I saw, and being an observer I could be wrong…but I don’t think so.

She immediately saw a Black man, as I mentioned with his pants down as is his style, and jumped to the conclusion that he was going to be a certain type of person.  I have seen this so many times before, since I am an avid people watcher and very well versed in psychology of societies and prejudices. She immediately took on her cape of aggression, perhaps out of fear as a defense mechanism, or perhaps as a prejudice towards this young Black man.  Either way she started off the whole incident with the wrong attitude and behavior.  I have heard and seen many women immediately get either scared in their behavior or aggressive when in a situation where there are no others or only one person.  It is prejudice and typecasting of the ignorant.

As she continued to talk trash to this young man, she was keeping her defenses up, and basically doing what many animals do when confronted with a suspected danger: making themselves appear larger to the other.  If she let him talk nice to her, or if she would have approached the basket blockage with simple manners, she would appear weak, in her thinking, thus vulnerable.

Now, for the Black man.  When I approached the blockage with manners, he responded in kind, and even added a nice caveat of a compliment.  He moved his basket as requested, without a bunch of shit, and he attempted to make me smile.  Like I have said many times, I feel I have done good in any given day if I can make one person smile or laugh.  He sincerely did good for this day not only for his response to me, but for his lack of response to the other woman.  He did tell her directly, and not in an indignant or rude manner, if she would have simply asked he would have been happy to move his cart.  When she continued to go on, he just said, more for my ears than hers as she was obviously not listening, she needed to not be so aggressive.  Finally, when she was leaving the aisle (most thankfully!) stating he was the problem with society today, he held his tongue.  Well, so did I!  Wasn’t easy for me, and I am sure it was real hard for him.

This incident can be chalked up to the post I did the other day about not judging a book by the cover.  To pull in the Christian element which seems to be tossed into every ‘what is wrong with society’ salad recently: Matthew 7:1 “Judge not, that ye be not judged.”  There are a ton more.  How can there be so many Christians out in just America, and these basic teachings are not practiced?  Love is lost, yet it is taught more than any other single concept.  I just don’t get it.  Probably why I don’t call myself a Christian: I don’t want to be lumped into a group of people, who for a large part from my view (which may be skewed, no doubt in that) are hypocritical and do not practice the very teachings which are taught from the earliest lessons and into late adulthood classes.

The pointing finger can be what is wrong with society.  Instead of trying to find fault in everyone and everything else, why not try to find one good thing.  Try to embrace each new situation with a positive approach, instead of immediately assuming it is going to be something which requires aggression and abrasiveness. Need I say it again, and I am beginning to feel like I should be walking around in tie-dye, fingers in the peace sign, and flowers in my hand, LOVE.


Sure, a woman doesn’t want to look weak to a person who might be a threat.  In the middle of Wal-Mart in the middle of the day does one really need to take on an aggressive stance with anyone?  It has become this woman’s behavior pattern, thus she just responded the way she had trained herself to do.  She had lost any pretense of loving her fellow man, or for that fact, even giving LIKE a chance.

I just wanted to share this one event which points out what I keep preaching on all my social media sites.  We must start to show each other in our community love,  sooner as there is not going to be a later.  We don’t have to go around hugging each other, but a simple smile and ‘hello’ is a start.  Some basic manners showing respect for the other person whom you do not know, and showing you are a kind person.  If we could do this simple simple actions, I can guarantee the actor would feel better at the end of the day, rather than stressed.  Perhaps the reason I am not accosted and bothered by men when I have gone out is I show kindness, not weakness or timidity, first.  Most humans and animals will react in kind with what they are approached with.  I would rather be responded to with kindness and common courtesy than aggression and rudeness.

therescue.invisiblechildren.com (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Peace & Love