The Horse: 31 Reasons Why Horse People Are The Craziest You’ll Ever Meet

Meg and Averi

When you spend a lot of time around horses, you start developing some… interesting personality traits. If you’ve displayed any (or all) of these characteristics, chances are you’ve got an incurable case of equine fever.

1. You know that shoveling poop is not only a huge part of life, but it’s a privilege, and a great workout.


2. You don’t get offended when people say you smell like a barn, and you don’t even flinch when a friend pulls a piece of hay out of your hair


3. You know that once you get to know them, every horse has a unique personality.


4. You’ve never had a manicure that has lasted more than 10 hours.


5. You have many pairs of shoes, but most of them are dirty, scuffed-up boots


6. You spend more money on vet bills than your own medical bills


7. You get most of your veggies by sharing carrots with your horse


8. You’ve definitely tried sweet feed on a particularly hungry day.


9. You’ve attempted (and mostly failed) the with-horse selfie more times than you can count, and the horse’s face NEVER FITS IN THE FRAME.


10. You’ve ignored the warnings on fly spray bottles and used it all over yourself on particularly buggy days.

You’ve ignored the warnings on fly spray bottles and used it all over yourself on particularly buggy days.

11. Your weekends are always spent at muddy horse show grounds instead of at the club


12. As a kid, you read Black Beauty, Misty of Chincoteague, and The Saddle Club books til they fell apart.


13. When you inevitably ended up in the hospital from a riding accident, your first question to the doctor was how long it would be before you could ride again


14. People laugh when you refer to your horses as your children, but you’re totally serious


15. You idolized John Lyons, Stacey Westfall, and Clinton Anderson instead of famous pop stars


16. You collected Breyer horses instead of Barbie dolls as a kid (and if you had both, your Barbie dolls rode your Breyer horses).


17. You might have sucked in gym class, but you could lift a huge hay bale over your head without an issue.


18. Your favorite clothes have always featured horses, and most of your outfits double as barn clothes so you don’t have to change when you inevitably end up there later that day.


19. As a kid, if any movie even had a slight reference to a horse in it, it was your new favorite. (And if it was all about horses, you watched it on repeat.)

As a kid, if any movie even had a slight reference to a horse in it, it was your new favorite. (And if it was all about horses, you watched it on repeat.)

20. You taught your dog to do horse-related things, such as jumping or getting the correct lead


21. You know that falling off is more like a badge of honor than an embarrassment. The crazier the situation, the better the stories after.


22. You’ve clucked or kissed at slow people walking in front of you to get them to go faster


23. Your horse has heard more of your secrets than your human best friend


24. Your kitchen table is constantly covered by horse-related magazines and catalogs


25. Your fridge is always stocked with apples and carrots (but they’re probably not for you)


26. Where others see a fashion statement, you just see a broken snaffle bit on a shoe.


27. Most of your dirty laundry is covered in dirt, sawdust, poo, and hair


28. Your only friends as a teen were your fellow horse enthusiasts (partly because you spent all of your time at the barn instead of the mall).


29. When you learned to drive, you had to remind yourself that your car didn’t have a mind of its own, and you half expected your car to spook whenever you saw a plastic bag blow by while you were driving


30. Whenever someone rides in the shows or movies, you always check to see how their form looks and if they seem to actually know how to ride.


31. You wouldn’t trade the bruises, dirty outfits, and hours mucking stalls for anything in the world. In the barn or in the saddle is where you belong, and there’s nothing that will ever change that.


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