Coming of Age, or Too Much Information

Again, I am caught off guard on this piece. Enjoy it, but I bet for the rest of the day I know what you will be thinking about. LOL



Over the years, the way I wipe my arse has changed considerably. When I was a child, a baby, I didn’t wipe it at all. I went into my nappy like millions of others, and my mother wiped me clean with baby wipes and sprinkled me with talc.

As I grew, however, I was potty-trained and I learned to wipe myself. Shorts and pants down, t-shirt up, I stood by the toilet, unrolled the roll and took fifteen to twenty sheets at a time, wiped my bottom, folded after each wipe, and repeated until the sheets came back white.

I did this for years, standing to attention, until a university friend said he did it sitting down. At first, I was puzzled by how he managed it. Surely the twenty sheets would all unravel into the shit-filled water? Then I was defensive: standing up was the right way to do it…

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3 thoughts on “Coming of Age, or Too Much Information

  1. I loved it too. I have had some of these thoughts as well, but would never talk about them, much less write about them. When I was in Alaska, the guy I was with was weird in he would take the squares off individually, and would count them. He couldn’t figure out why I did mine the way I did. Our place was rather small, so not a lot went unnoticed. I never changed my way, but just shook my head at his way. I think his has something to do with staying in foster homes and living in a highly abusive home when he was a child.

  2. Jeez, Rene, if I’d been on the toilet I would have fallen off it. This was hilarious. I thought you just had to decide whether to fold or scrunch the tp …..and keep going till, well, you know. I’m tweeting this. It’s precious. 🙂

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