Again, I am caught off guard on this piece. Enjoy it, but I bet for the rest of the day I know what you will be thinking about. LOL
Over the years, the way I wipe my arse has changed considerably. When I was a child, a baby, I didn’t wipe it at all. I went into my nappy like millions of others, and my mother wiped me clean with baby wipes and sprinkled me with talc.
As I grew, however, I was potty-trained and I learned to wipe myself. Shorts and pants down, t-shirt up, I stood by the toilet, unrolled the roll and took fifteen to twenty sheets at a time, wiped my bottom, folded after each wipe, and repeated until the sheets came back white.
I did this for years, standing to attention, until a university friend said he did it sitting down. At first, I was puzzled by how he managed it. Surely the twenty sheets would all unravel into the shit-filled water? Then I was defensive: standing up was the right way to do it…
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