This is how many of us feel each and every day.
“This illness is, by and large, the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me. It has changed my life forever. Every single moment of my life is infused with it. Not one second is spared.
What I eat, when I eat, what I wear, what I read, how I sit, how I lay, where I go, when I go, when I wake, when I sleep, how I sleep, what plans are made, who I talk to, what I think…nothing goes without consideration of my illness. To stand in judgment of it as if it were not so—well, on days like this it’s more than I can bear.”
A lot has happened—a lot continues to happen—in my world. The majority of what goes on is good. I have so much to be thankful for.
But then there is this illness. This chronic, relentless, imposing, hungry disease that makes Kubler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief a condiment to my daily issue du jour. It’s never ending. And now, it’s become so difficult for me to actually write. Cognitive function is on the decline. Coming up with words, making sense, tying things together…all those things that for a lifetime have come so easily, now take so much work. Not only does it take work, it takes time.
Then there is pain. Some of it constant, some of it coming and going on a whim. I never know when, where, why. Believe me, I have spent so…
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